Inspiration for Jacob

Most people go through life never really knowing what their purpose is. Never really knowing why they are here and what the point is. That is not true for this kid, Noel.

From the very beginning of his life we knew he was special and that our life would be different because he was in it. Everything from how long we tried to become parents, to the way he saved my life, to the date that he was born. It all has meaning. It all serves a purpose.

When he was just a few months old, and back in the ICU after a surgery, I felt the need to go to a women’s conference. I didn’t know how I would pay for it or if I should even go. Then a friend figured out a way to pay for my way and told me “if it’s meant to be, then nothing bad will happen to your baby while you are gone.” So I went to the conference for the weekend…in a different state, while my baby was in the hospital!

I was a mess but it was at that conference, in the nose bleed section of the auditorium, that I heard a woman talk about her loss and asked everyone else that experienced child loss to hold up a light. As I looked around and saw all those lights, I knew I was not alone. While my baby was physically with us, I was experiencing the loss of a “normal” child. I knew our child would have a hard life; would probably never roll over or walk; would be fed through a tube; and that I would end up burying him some day. I new that he would not out-live me. He would not grow old.

With tears streaming down my face, and my fellow sisters touching my shoulders, something in the depths of my soul told me that I needed to tell our story. As a girl that has always struggled with dyslexia, I never dreamed of becoming a writer. Where was this calling coming from? Is this a joke? How was I going to tell our story?

In the following days and months I was excited to start writing! I was going to write our autobiography, for other adults. It was going to be amazing! Then life happened. More hospital stays, more babies, more pressures; but the calling never went away. It just changed and over time I realized that I wanted to tell our story to kids. That is how Jacob’s Journey came to be. The story of our life in a series of many books over time and filled with beautiful pictures.

After 8 years of waiting we signed a contract and got the process started to publish our first book! There was a buzz of excitement in our house and everyone could feel it, even our Noelie. When he saw the pictures he had the biggest smile!

Then my worst nightmare happened. The thing I was grieving about all those years before. Our Noelie’s heart stopped beating. His purpose was fulfilled. His mission to change our lives and everyone that came in contact with him, was over. We were going to have to bury him and find a way to tell our story about life with him, without him. In those early weeks of grief we knew that our first book was almost ready to be published and that we had to push through to finish it. We had to continue to tell our story. Exactly one month later, it was available for others to purchase!

It is our hope that, through Jacob’s Journey, we can continue putting a smile on other peoples faces in the same way that Noelie did while he was here with us. His purpose has now become our purpose and we are so excited that you have joined us on this journey! Welcome friends!

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Jacob and his family